Big Mother

Some idiot woman from Oxfordshire has got her idiot gap-year son to carry a GPS device around with him while he travels. The purpose of which is what exactly?
Her son reckons that if he gets kidnapped and taken into the jungle in Thailand (a regular occurence he seems to think) someone will be able to find him. Unfortunately it's 2 inches thick and credit card sized so unless he's got an arsehole the size of a letterbox I suspect it might be removed from his person before you can say ransom demand.
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Too Much

I haven't written to this blog for a while; not because I had nothing to complain about but just didn't have time. However, I realised this evening that the real reason I hadn't written anything was because I hadn't exposed myself enough to the utter shit churned out by the robots at the Daily Mail / Express.
The budget gave them an opportunity to show what a pile of stinking moronic cess they are. It was clear that all their comments were going to be negative whatever had come up in the budget and the way they seem to think a Tory budget would've been any better make me despair. One line in the Express depicts Cameron's speech after the budget saying "Wait until I'm in charge!"
I want to scream this out loud! Does any one really, REALLY think that the Tories would've steered the UK away from this situation which is clearly fuelled by greed? All I can say is thank fuck it wasn't the Tories in charge otherwise it would've been much MUCH worse. In the Express they tell the story of the plight of a young woman who is struggling to get on the 'property ladder' and is hampered by Labour.
Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!!!
You fucking idiots! This desire and greed to get on the 'ladder' and make money by doing nothing is what (along with the greed of those funding it) started this whole fucking shit off in the first place you absolute fucking brainless fucking cunts. People were all so stupid that they really thought that it would be possible for house prices to continue to grow at outrageous rates, indefinitely. They could sit back and rake in the cash year on year. Fucking wise up. No wonder it's all gone tits up. £ signs were in every greedy person's eyes and we just threw common sense in the fucking river. Now they complain because instead of massive profits they have to pay a bit more tax!
FUCK OFF!
There are those that are threatening to leave the country.
Well you can FUCK OFF as well. And don't think you can come back when you realise how big the spiders are over there.

Anyway, back to 'papers: After all the furore about Goodwin the Daily Express sheds tears on behalf of those poor souls who only earn £150k a year and will now be taxed a bit more on earnings over that amount. (Note that they don't explain that it's not the whole £150k that's taxed at 50%. )
What's the matter with you 'journalists' anyway? Your articles are absolute utter fucking crap. You don't know what you're talking about and yet the people of this country read this wank day in day out. You should be ashamed of yourselves. It should be a fucking crime to buy the Mail/Express and it certainly should be a crime to work there. I've never, ever seen such biased, imbalanced, misleading and dumbed down jizz than I have in these newspapers. I really despair that people actually buy them. I'm sorry but I have not a modicum of respect for anyone who thinks these are good media.
I'm so fucking angry.

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Comfortably Dead

I was looking at a picture of an execution chamber in the US and noticed that prisoners strapped to beds and given lethal injections are also given a pillow. It's like the final meal thing, what's the point in feeding someone who you're about to kill. With the price of food going up I think it's a waste of decent scran - although most last meals are probably burgers anyway knowing the Yanks. Having said that, saturated fat is probably the last thing on your mind when you're about to get dispatched to Hell! Maybe a cholesterol overdose will help you beat the executioner though. McSuicide!
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Weddings in space

Words almost fail me. Apparently a Japanese wedding planning company and an American aerospace company are offering couples the chance to be married in space - for £1m. What the fuck is going on? Is there, or is there not a better use for £1m? Of course everyone would like their wedding day to be special but this is purely outrageous one-upmanship. Surely it's better to have your friends present as you get married, not watching you on a CCTV monitor. You fly up to 60 miles above the planet in a rocket-propelled plane, with 2 witnesses and a priest. Absolutely fucking ridiculous. Why not just fuck off up there and don't come back? I was reading about an American couple that plan to be the first to participate. The woman reckons the idea of getting married in space came to her while she was meditating - she was single at the time but then began actively looked for a man who would go along with it. Well she found him. He obviously had no conscience either. How can these people look at themselves in the mirror each day? What's really abhorrent is that people actually aspire to this kind of profligacy. It's deemed as 'good' and something we would all love to do if we could afford it. Well I find the whole idea symbolic of the ignorance of people about the resources we have available. It is like me buying a megatonne of food, waving it in people's faces and then just burning it to show how powerful and wealthy I am. The people that participate in this kind of huge-footprint stunt are probably the same ones who complain about the high cost of fuel at the pumps when they do for once have their feet somewhere near the cocking ground. £1m could do so much more good than wasting it whizzing up to the stratosphere for a fucking religiously inspired self-aggrandizing jaunt. These people believe in God. How on Earth can they justify this sort of behaviour to their God? How can they possibly believe that the God of the New Testament would condone this sort of flagrant abuse?! (Answer: they don't really believe in God)
I really feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall with these religious fucking idiots. Bollocks to it, I'm not excusing myself anymore. Anyone that believes in God, any God, after being asked to consider the facts is an imbecile - a robot, a simpleton, a cunt. I'd give up on life now if it wasn't for the curry I've got waiting for me when I get in. And yes, this last bit is meant to be humorous but it shouldn't detract from the importance of the point. This kind of energy profligacy must be outlawed immediately!



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Hideous Sunglasses

My God, there are some vicious shades about. Fat birds in massive bug-eye sunnies who actually think their appearance is enhanced by these things obviously can't see the fucking mirror once they've put them on. Workshy 'yummy-mummy' bimbos with City based husbands put them on as soon as they get in their 4x4 to go to the Harbour Club. It doesn't matter whether the sun is shining or not. Give 'em the the bastonade I say, the inconsiderate small-minded freeloaders - they don't help your eyesight for fuck's sake they just make your driving worse. God I hate them.
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Fuel Tax

Oh do fuck off - the motorist is not 'always being clobbered.' Sometimes I wish they were, with a splintered cricket bat preferably, but clobbered with excessive tax and other charges is just bollocks. I've said this before and I'll bore you with it again, motoring in real terms has become cheaper since the 1970s. Even if it has reached that level, it still shows nowhere near the increase in costs that users of public transport endure.
When I review my fuel costs over the last 5 years I notice that they've probably increased by about 25%, which is indeed high, but in real terms it actually is an increase of about £8 a month - fuck all basically. The lesson here is, drive a lot - pay a lot. Drive less - pay less. If you use your car to fanny around at the shops then you're your own worst enemy. If you commute a long way, move closer to work or get a job closer to home. For fuck's sake use your brain. The days of cheap fuel are over and regardless of fuel duty, the cost at the pump isn't coming down. It really pisses me off when people think that they're entitled to cheap fuel just because all the other fucking morons are demanding it around Europe. I'm sorry but hauliers and fisherman should have seen it fucking coming. They lapped it up while it cheap without a moment's thought about the future. For fishermen they're skilled at this - just look at how they view fish stocks. Anyway, what's wrong with using fucking sails you cunts?
So there we go.
If I were Gordon Brown I'd call an election now, let Cameron get in and see what that smart-arsed toff can do with the shit we're in. I'll tell you - jack fucking shit with a hat on.


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Champions League

I love it. I've got the beer garden to me fuckin' sen!
Smooth.
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